The Work Dream

I was late for work. I knew it… and yet I still wanted to rearrange the kitchen. I moved all the straws from one drawer into another… and then fell asleep.
When I woke up, it was 11pm, and I was due in at 9. It was then I realised I was in serious trouble.
I went back to my room and checked my phone. 9 messages.
“Where are you?”
“Okay seriously, this isn’t good.”
“For fuck’s sake, get here now.”
“You’re a complete bitch.”
“Oh, and thanks for the attempts on my life.”
“Just wait till I see you again.
“*Passage from the Bible.*”
I got ready as quickly as possible. I ran to work whilst trying to reply to her texts. I hadn’t even eaten!
On the way I was stopped by a Big Issue salesperson, and for the first time ever I bought one, because I figured, hey! It might make me look a bit better tonight.
I got to work. Everyone was in casual clothes and literally every member of staff was in. And they seemed to be selling something other than alcohol.
They were selling ice cream.
But not just any ice cream. These ice cream cones were made of jewels. Edible jewels. And we had to make them from scratch. But they were selling extremely fast in this muggy weather.
My manager came up to me. She was not happy.
“Let me try to explain…”
“Let’s forget about tonight for now. Get behind the bar.”
I did as I was told, and I was determined to make a good impression. I asked someone to teach me how to make the cones. The jewels came in lines already, much like those tiles you can get in B&Q. I had to use this purple putty stuff to stick it to the side of a pointed glass and wind my way around it.
So then my dream shifted into work mode – I served customers, pulled pints… and felt doubly as tired when I woke up. After all, I’d just done two shifts in a row.


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