The ‘I Don’t Know What To Call This Stuff Anymore’ Dream

I’d decided to stay back at work to hang out with people (work now being in a fancy office complex) when I remembered someone was out to kill me. One of the guys tried to convince me to stay, so I waited until he fell asleep before I left.
I tiptoed out of the room and down several hallways. They were all pitch black. And I heard a man’s heavy breathing close behind me in each one. I found a staircase and hid under it until dawn approached.
As people started milling into the building, one of the security guards found me. They gave me a funny look and asked me what I was doing. A crowd started to form around us, and before I could tell her I was being hunted, I saw the Doctor and Rose.
I thought screw security guards, I trust Mr. Tennant far more. So I got up, told the guard I was fine, and went over to the Doctor. I told him what was happening and he led me back to the first room I was in. The person I was with was gone, and in his place lay Burn Gorman – Owen Harper from Torchwood. And he was very much dead. I cried. He didn’t deserve to die.
We went outside of the room to find two members of staff – the one I’d been with at the beginning, and Ryan Reynolds (because I totally work with him). Ryan was having difficulty speaking – he’d taken a severe knock to the head and seemed to have lost part of his brain.
The other member of staff however, was perfectly fine. Great, in fact. Apart from the mad look in his eyes and the twitchy fingers itching to reach around my neck. He confessed to murdering Burn and damaging Ryan. And trying to kill me.
After he’d been arrested and Ryan taken to hospital, we decided to take a break. The latest concert in the area was being set up. I got dressed in a skimpy skin-coloured outfit and then realised too late that my underwear was on full display underneath it. Oops.
We all gathered to watch as the leading band got on stage, started playing and then had a powercut. Luckily, McFly were there, and didn’t need electricity to play. They selected four people – me and my friend included – to go and find them special water in this sort of Brazilian market. I was in charge of Harry’s water.
As I entered the market, Harry lifted my skirt up, showing my behind to all at the concert. Cheers Harry.
The first bowl of water I found was kind of filthy, and being used for a dog. I was tempted to draw from it, but then I saw a tap. Go me!
I decided to buy Harry a present as well. I found one of those Spanish donkey toy things, and thought it quite fitting. He was an ass for showing my ass to the world. I’m so witty in my dreams…
However, on the way out from the market, a guy touched said bum. He was a really dodgy looking dude, so I said if he tried it again I’d break his fingers. So he did. That was when my ex turned up.
I stared at him for ages until he recognised me. Then he grabbed the guy’s arm and held his fingers out for me to break.
I karate chopped and punched until I realised breaking fingers isn’t my forté. Seriously… how do you break fingers successfully? But I gave up. My ex punched him for me, and I walked off without thanking him.
I never did get round to giving Harry my donkey.


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