The Moving Out Dream

We were moving out. And it was taking forever. There was so much stuff to move and so much cleaning to do… But we were getting there.
Anyway, you want the exciting story. Unfortunately this dreams wasn’t packed with action or romance. This is a prime example of one of my more mundane dreams.
I’d ordered some stuff a while ago – a few books, DVDs and a T-Shirt. A friend of ours brought my post up and we all sat around the kitchen table. Everyone but me was reading in silence. I opened my parcels, and was extremely disappointed. The books weren’t legit. They were A4 ring bound, home printed books. The ‘DVDs’ were in the same style; just the scripts. And instead of a T-Shirt, I received a dissertation ABOUT a T-Shirt. What the hell…
To be fair I should have been quite impressed that they’d gone to so much trouble. But I’d paid £15 for someone’s dissertation.
“What the hell is this?” I asked everyone, throwing the booklets down on the table. “This isn’t what I ordered?”
“Shut up, I’m trying to concentrate,” my friend next to me said.
“Well sorry,” I said. “Actually no, I’m not. If you don’t like me talking in my kitchen, you can go to your own home.”
Unexpectedly, he began to cry.
“I don’t have a home to go to,” he stuttered.
Well I felt bad.
Soon after, everyone left, and we were free to continue packing. After a while, me and my flatmate sat in the kitchen, having a coffee. We heard someone in the shower. And we heard him fart. Loudly. When he came out, not only was bone dry, but he wasn’t anyone we recognised. He was huge, in both height and width. He farted again in the hallway, whilst looking us dead in the eyes.
He must have been a Summer lodger. I hoped to God he wasn’t in my room.


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