The House Party Hostage Dream

And in today’s dream, someone broke into my house and started playing video games in my kitchen.
So I did what any other person terrified for their life would do.
I sat on him.
Okay so it sounds like a guy broke into my house and I took him hostage. But I sat on him for a reason.
I sat on him so his access to the knives was restricted. I struggled to keep him still and I asked my boyfriend to pass me one of the knives.
He stood there watching us, confused. Eventually he passed me the smallest knife he could find. I sighed.
Keeping my foot on the stranger’s face, I grabbed the nearest carving knife and made a gash down his arm. He started crying.
My boyfriend decided he was bored of all this and went outside to the paddling pool, where several of our family members were enjoying the sunshine.
It’s only just occurred to me now that the burglar on the sofa in the kitchen… may have just been a guest.
Anyway, I decided to join everyone outside; the man’s tears were unnerving. A small ginger dog was running riot around the garden and I’m pretty sure he was undead.
I splashed about in the pool a bit, careful not to get my hair wet because we were running away in an hour or so…As soon as my boyfriend had finished burying himself in the sand.
…No, I don’t know either. I think my subconscious needs therapy.


The Weed Smuggling Dream

My boyfriend was currently in the robbery business. He hired both me and a friend of mine to help him steal some weed from a local office block. For some reason, we agreed.
We split up and headed for different offices. Three particular workers were well known weed smokers, and I found a stash in a drawer easily enough. I grabbed a few pinches because it was loose in the drawer, and stuffed it into a piece of paper. I closed the drawer, and snuck back out again unnoticed.
Unfortunately, we forgot to take into account the fact that we all had lessons in this office building. My boyfriend and friend had gone ahead of me, and had already found their weed, so they didn’t know if I’d succeeded in my task. I sat opposite them on the square table, and they looked at me questioningly. The woman teaching us happened to be the weed smoker I’d stolen from. And she was suspicious.
Especially when my friend held up a container well-known for weed usage to show me he had been successful. I shook my head in alarm. How stupid could he be?! People would know!
The woman saw me fiddling around with my bag, and asked me what was in there. Proudly, I pulled out a plasticine model of a lake. Little did she know that her weed was concealed inside. I was pretty impressed with my handiwork.
I think she just decided I was weird and left it at that.

I’d like to take this opportunity to point out I don’t even smoke cigarettes, let alone weed… and I don’t steal from offices… especially ones I visit regularly.
But apparently I do in my dreams.

The Inner Fox Dream

My friend had died. We were in a taxidermist’s shop and my friend quite simply died of horror. I looked down at her crumpled body on the floor and said, “oh.”
The taxidermist looked down at her and smiled as he said, “I can fix that.”
He dragged the fresh corpse up to his workbench, and grabbed a scalpel. He quickly set to work making clean cuts in the skin, until he could easily pull out what was inside the body –
A dead fox.
I was confused, and the taxidermist laughed. He said, “we all have an animal inside us.” It sounded like a come on, but I think he was deadly serious.
I asked him what mine was, but he shook his head. He pressed play on his CD player, and classical music seeped from it. He then took his scalpel up again and began working on the smaller corpse.
“No!” I screamed, as I realised what he was doing. He wasn’t preserving the fox at all. He was destroying it. He worked and worked until the there was only the hide of the poor animal left. There had been no traces of blood or bodily organs. It was perfectly clean.
In fact, the fox skin was quilted inside, and the taxidermist sure as hell hadn’t done it.
I had befriended a person with a fox inside them who was perfectly suited to do Cushelle adverts.

The Voldemort Dream

This dream came in two parts; the weird part, and the action. Of course some of you will prefer to go straight into the action, so by all means, skip to “but anyways” 🙂

I’d finally moved back to Uni! But this time our halls of residence flat was more than weird. One of my flatmates (for the purposes of this dream shall be called Sarah) had already moved in, and decided to give me the grand tour.
I was supposed to be in room 1, so I went to the first door I came across. But it was room 14. Well that was odd. There was only supposed to be five rooms.
The next door wouldn’t open, and wasn’t labelled. The next was my door. But each of the doors I could see down this corridor were distinctly different. 14 had been brown and shiny. Mine was like the usual halls of residence doors. Number 2 next to mine was wooden, and number 3 had a white door that blended in with the wall. 3 was Sarah’s room, and it looked like nothing more than an airing closet. I couldn’t imagine it being a big room.
Next door to her was the bathroom. Well, I say bathroom… it was cramped, dark and disgusting. It was so cramped in fact, that the bath had to be raised high, like a bunk bed, only with no ladder. How the hell did they expect us to get up there?!
I wasn’t looking forward to living there after seeing that. But then right next door was a modern refurbished bathroom, all white and pristine and spacious. The bath may have been better looking in this one, but it was still a bloody bunk bath.
Then we went past numerous rooms and headed for the kitchen. I had been warned beforehand that our new kitchen was long but not wide. I underestimated just how wide. This was a state of the art open plan kitchen, and it was huge! Two boys were already in it, and I recognised them from High School. Oh well, that meant I only had ten more flatmates to meet…
Soon enough, the entire kitchen was full of people, and I understood the necessity of having such a large kitchen.

But anyways,
Once we’d all settled in, I knew he’d find me. He always did. I was the one person in the world he wanted to kill more than anything, and he was determined to do it. Sure enough, when I looked out my bedroom window, he was there.
And it was at that particular moment that he looked up at my window, and leered. “I know you’re in there!” He boomed. Yet for some reason, he wouldn’t enter the flat himself. Like he couldn’t come in without an invite or something. Vampire Voldemort.
I ran to get Sarah, and we broke into the next door flat with a few of our flatmates. There was an explosion, and we saw chunks of the wall outside blown apart. Oh God. I was putting these people’s lives at risk. Each explosion sounded like the whip of a wand. But these weren’t intended to hurt anyone. These were just the warning signals, telling me to give myself up. The real pain would begin soon.
I ran back to my flat and began gathering bits and pieces I’d need with me. But then Sarah called my name and said it was too dangerous to be in there. I sighed. Of course she was write. I took back with me whatever was already in my arms.
Not a minute later, we watched as a huge fireball hiss through the air and plummet into the flat. The entire building went up in flames instantly and collapsed to the ground. Bits of the fire clung to the floorboard of the building we were in, and one of our cleverer flatmates quelled them.
Only now there was a big problem. This flat now only had three walls.
I looked at Sarah. She was here to protect me, at all costs. She nodded, and we all evacuated into the darkness. I pulled my hood up, and slunk into the trees with everyone else. We reached a deserted street, and hid in a derelict building. From a secret entrance, survivors joined us, and I was glad to see so many of them. Others had not been so fortunate. I tried not to think about them.
A big, Heimdall-like guy stood watch over us. He looked at me with concern. I started babbling at him, saying, “I lost all my stuff… All my possessions, just… gone.”
“Didn’t you have cats?” He asked.
My stomach dropped. How had I forgotten them?! I should have looked for them around the flat, should have attempted to rescue them before…
I didn’t want to think about it. I went into the main room where everyone was sat. I was trying desperately hard not to cry.
There was a soft meowing from behind me. But I was sat against a wall. I pushed at it, and a section swung back to reveal a small, hidden passageway. To my amazement, dozens of cats began milling out of the wall, meowing as they tried to find their owners.
I saw several cats that looked like one of mine, but none that looked like the other. When the last of the cats came through, I gave up hope.
I may have gotten away with my life, but Voldemort had killed my cats.
This time, it was war.

#FP Volume 5

The past couple of week’s themes were ‘In Harm’s Way’ and ‘At Midnight.’ I had a little twang of romanticism with the Midnight theme. I apologise. I promise it won’t happen too often 😉

In Harm’s Way:





At Midnight:




Follow me at: @ClaireBearKH, or find my flash fiction, as well as many other awesome pieces of writing at #FP on Twitter 😀

The Other Unicorn Dream

I wanted to move back to University early, so mum helped me take my stuff there. Only when I’d gotten all my stuff down to my new flat I realised I hadn’t told anyone I was coming back. So no flat keys for me.
I also realised I’d forgotten a load of stuff whilst packing. This was a disaster, and mum had already gone.
It would cost mum £60 by train to bring my stuff up and go home again, so I decided I’d go home myself. Suddenly, a shower of rainbows swallowed me, and my body began to transform.
My skin turned snowy white, my hands and feet hardened and rounded. My face grew longer and a horn protruded from my forehead. My hair extended down my back and turned pink. Yeah, you got it. I was in full unicorn mode.
I jumped up and burst through the ceiling with my massive yellow horn. Then I was in the sky, flying home, with a trail of rainbows billowing behind me. I dived for my parent’s house, and broke through their ceiling into my bedroom. I collected a tent, a sleeping bag and a few things I’d forgotten in my unicorn arms and then bounced on my unicorn feet and soared into the sky again.
I’d gotten back before mum had, and I’d got everything I needed to survive the next week without a flat. It was a successful day.

…Just hope mum liked the new skylight I’d made for my room.